


When That Hotline Bling

by starvonnie



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One)
Genre: M/M, Nude Photos, Self-Servicing, Sticky Sexual Interfacing, Voyeurism, so nude-er photos, well they're always nude
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-07
Updated: 2016-11-07
Packaged: 2018-08-29 14:08:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8492698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starvonnie/pseuds/starvonnie
Summary: Rodimus gets some intimate photos from Starscream.  And he is totally not into them.  Nope.  Not at all.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Re: the title. Dumb fics get dumb titles.

"Rodimus stop slouching," Megatron reprimanded him.  Which, normally, was fine and par for the course, but to have Starscream snickering at him over the vidcom was humiliating.  It wasn't like he was contributing to the conversation anyways.  Why did it matter if he sat up straight or not?  But he did as he was told, albeit while grumbling.

After a few more boring minutes of talking about nothing but making it sound like it was important, Rodimus crossed his arms and swung his legs up onto the table.  He received nothing more than a tired sigh from Megatron.

"Does he make you miss the Decepticons?" Starscream asked.

The whole room became still.  It even seemed like the video feed had frozen with Starscream's stupid grin spread across his face.

"Let's keep on task," Megatron suggested.

Starscream sure made Rodimus miss the Decepticons.  Because then he could shoot him in the face.  Permanently remove that grin.  Wipe it from all existence.  But instead he had to listen while he and Megatron discuss _in great detail_ everything that had happened in the last few months.  _Everything_.  Like how many lights had been replaced.  How much fuel had been used.  Primus, it had been _hours_. 

It was kind of funny, though.  If he had told his past self that he would be sitting in a room with Megatron, his equal in rank, and Starscream, who had somehow managed to get himself elected to office, he would have laughed.  This was certainly a crazy year in Cybertronian history.

Megatron sighed again.  "Rodimus, are you even listening?"

"Yeah, yeah, fuel consumption and whatever.  We gotta cut back.  I got it."  He waved a hand dismissively, doing his best to look somewhat interested in what they had to say.

There was a moment of silence.  Then another sigh from Megatron.

"At least they're put someone _competent_ on that ship," Starscream said.  And before Rodimus could fire back at him, he said the best words Rodimus had heard all day.  "Well, that's all.  I realize this was a bit dull, but they like to know that we're keeping an optic on you.  Making sure you're not hoarding energon or doing something equally nefarious."

"Yes, well, we've got to get back to work now, so bye Starscream!"  Rodimus leapt up to grab the remote and switched off the feed just before Starscream went to say anything else.  " _Primus_ my audials are ringing.  He's called Star _scream_ for a reason."

"You get used to it," Megatron said, picking up a couple of data pads from the table and slid the rest across it to Rodimus.  "I have bridge duty, but you need to read over and approve these reports."

Rodimus slid down the chair until his aft was almost off of it.  "First you force me to listen to Starscream's voice and now you're making me do _more_ work?"

"They won't take long.  And once you're done this you're done for the day."

Sighing loudly, and ultimately having his suffering ignored by Megatron as he left the room, Rodimus pawed at a data pad to bring it closer.  He was just starting to read it when the screen came to life again.

Oh, and Mega--"  Starscream stopped, realizing he wasn't there.  "Oh, it's just you now."

Sighing loudly and not trying to hide his disdain at all, Rodimus said, "Y'know, we are _co_ -captains.  I'm just as capable of handling whatever it is you seem to so _desperately_ need."

"Hmm.  I was going to give him a more _personal_ message."  Starscream frowned.  "I _suppose_ I could give it to you and you could pass it along.  You are competent enough to do this, yes?"  The smirk said that he was trying to get under Rodimus' plating.  It was, unfortunately, working.

"I ran this ship just fine without Megatron!" he snapped.

"I'm sure you did."  Starscream was talking to him like he was a sparkling.  "But that's really not what I'm asking you to do here, is it?"  Primus, how he would love to smack that stupid grin off of his face.  Rodimus suddenly had a lot more respect for Megatron, if he was able to handle Starscream for four million years.  He could barely handle four minutes around him.    

"Just send it already.  Then leave me alone.  I have work to do."  He waved the data pad without looking at him.

"Just make sure it gets to him, will you?"

"Yeah, yeah."

Starscream half-shuttered his optics and lifted his helm a bit so he was able to look down on Rodimus just that much more.  Then he said, "That's a good mech," and cut the feed.

Was that look... strangely sexual?  No, Rodimus was reading it wrong.  That's just how Starscream was.  And even if that _was_ how he had wanted it to be read, he wasn't going to.  Because it was _Starscream_ and just because he had a sleek seeker frame didn't make him attractive.

Rodimus turned his attention back to the report, but he didn't have much attention for it to begin with.  He'd read the same sentence about five times, still not retaining any of it, when his comm pinged with a new message. 

He hated that Starscream had his personal frequency.  They had to exchange them in case Megatron tried anything and Rodimus had to get in touch with Cybertron.  So far they hadn't had a reason to use them.  And until this moment, his HUD had remained Starscream-free.  Now it felt tainted.

_Please pass this along_ , the subject line read.  At least he had asked politely.  He was pulling up Megatron's frequency when he realized he should probably check it out.  He believed that Megatron wouldn't be stupid enough to try anything that'd jeopardize his probation, but he didn't trust Starscream.  Especially a Starscream trying to send Megatron a private message. 

Well, he had a good enough reason to go snooping.

Opening it, he found only one word in the message.  "Enjoy."  But there was an attachment.  He didn't stop to think if this was a bad idea or not before he was opening it, and was forced to look at a picture of Starscream.  A very _intimate_ picture of Starscream.

He was sitting in the chair he'd been in while they were videoconferencing.  Was this taken while they were talking?  The camera hadn't shown anything below his chest.  The picture was taken from a lower angle, showcasing his glistening valve, with his free hand playing with his anterior node.  Though most of his face was hidden, his smirk was on full display.

Rodimus was shocked.  Too shocked to keep working.  So he all but ran to his habsuite, thankful that he didn't run into anyone along the way.

Once he was behind his closed door, he couldn't keep his spike in any longer.  His HUD didn't even give him a warning; it was out.  He just needed to work through some frustrations.  That was it. 

Starscream was a seeker.  Seekers were sexy.  That was just how it was.  He didn't think the picture was hot because it was Starscream, but because it was a sexy picture of a _seeker_.  One that he wasn't going to squander, nor was he going to share with Megatron.  He'd delete it once he was done.  Once he'd worked through his frustrations.  And Starscream had given him many frustrations.

Rodimus didn't even bother going to his berth.  He sat down against the wall right beside the door, furiously pumping his spike.  He wasn't going to look at the picture again.  He remembered what it looked like, that was all he needed.  But he wasn't getting anywhere. 

With a growl, Rodimus opened the attachment again.  He tried to keep his focus on the valve and the hand playing with it, but his optics kept getting drawn to that damn _smirk_.  It was like it was taunting him.  He could practically hear Starscream laughing at him.

Rodimus stopped and got up off of the floor, then threw himself onto his berth.  He covered his face with a pillow and shut his optics tight, but that didn't stop his spike from pulsing.  He groaned loud and long, and when he reopened his optics, Starscream was still there.  Still watching.

Getting up on his hands and knees, Rodimus started to stroke his spike again.  It wasn't enough.  He wanted to be inside a hot, wet valve.

"Stupid sexy seeker," Rodimus grumbled as he thrust into his hand, wishing the Starscream in the picture would _stop fragging smirking_!  It turned into a full on snarl when someone sent him a private comm.  He tried to ignore it and ignore the fact that he was clearly getting off to the idea of Starscream but the light kept blinking-- _demanding_ to be read.  So, with a frustrated growl he sat up and opened it.

His spike twitched up when he saw who it was from.  Starscream.  Again.  With another attachment.  The message line read: _For Megatron.  Confidential_.  Could he not just ask Megatron for _his_ private frequency?

Okay.  This time he would just send it off and tell him it was from Starscream.  That's what he was going to do.  Be the weird middle man in their weird... whatever it was.  He didn't care, and quite frankly, he didn't want to know.  But his optics hovered over the send icon on his HUD.  Then they slowly drifted back over the message.  In a quick motion, he opened the attachment and found another lewd picture.

Unfortunately, it was much easier to see Starscream's face in his one, as he was on his back on a berth.  Fortunately, he had his valve lips spread open, and just behind his hands he could see his fully pressurized  spike.  It had his own valve dripping, though it was nothing compared to Starscream's wetness.

His face donned the same smirk.  Rodimus was beginning to wonder if he was even capable of making a different expression.  It taunted him.  _Daring_ him to get off while he watched smugly.  Forcing Rodimus to admit that, yeah, he was attractive.  And not just because he had a seeker frame.

No.  He was done.  Even with his spike still hard in his hand, he was done.  And he had to make sure he got no more of these messages, so when he finally sent them off, he could be rid of him.  And his stupid smirk.

He got up off of his berth and closed the picture, willing his spike to depressurize.  It didn't, of course.

:: _Can't you just talk to Megatron through the vidcom?  I don't like being the messenger,_ :: Rodimus commed him back.  He kept it to text.  He didn't trust his voicebox right then.

Starscream, on the other hand, was happy to speak to him directly.  :: _These messages are rather_ private,:: he purred.  And he seemed a little out of breath.  Did he literally just take that picture?  Was he lying in his berth right now, dripping wet?  Rodimus didn't want to think about it... but he was.  :: _So, I trust you haven't been opening them_.::

Rodimus had to do his best to not show how heated he was.  :: _I just find it suspicious that you can't just talk to him through the_ monitored _video chat.  You were once his second-in-command, after all.  It seems fishy to me._ ::

:: _Oh, please, do you really think I'd risk ruining my image to conspire with that has-been?  After all I've done to distance myself from him?_ ::

:: _Yeah, well, you're an idiot so I wouldn't put it past you._ ::

Starscream laughed then.  And Rodimus could all but see him.  His smirk prevailing through its entirety.  But as he came back down, Rodimus could hear the breathiness of his voice.  The small gasp at the end.  Frag it all, that picture was recent.  Was he touching himself right now?

Sitting down on his berth, Rodimus started to slowly stroke his spike again.  He'd hate himself for it later, but right then he just wanted to overload.

:: _Oh, yes, I'm the idiot,_ :: Starscream purred.  Hearing his voice drop low to a point where it was scarcely above a growl had Rodimus' hand moving faster.  :: _That's why I'm the one saddled with Megatron, and not you._ ::

Rodimus bit his lip to keep a moan in, and his ventilations.  But there was nothing he could do about his cooling fans.  Hopefully they were too far away from the receiver for Starscream to hear.  How he was going to hide his overload...  He'd cross that bridge when he came to it.

:: _It's not like you to be silent, Rodimus Prime_.::

He almost overloaded from hearing his name.  From the way _Prime_ rolled off of his glossa.  He wanted a taste.  Of everything.  The things he would do to him if he had him right here...

:: _Just stop sending me this scrap, okay?_ ::

Starscream laughed.  :: _You sound close_.::  Rodimus could hear that infernal smirk in his voice.

:: _Close?_ ::

Rodimus truly had to hold back his overload when Starscream laughed again, low and evil.  _Stupid, sexy seeker!_

:: _I find it funny that you call me the idiot, when I can see when my attachments have been opened.  And that they clearly haven't made it to Megatron's frequency_.::

His hand froze on his spike.

:: _Really, Rodimus, I'm_ flattered.::

:: _Yeah?_ :: Rodimus shrieked.  :: _Well, I didn't_ like _them-- I was just... checking them.  And I'm glad I did, because Megatron doesn't want to see that!  Or anyone!  So don't send any more!_ ::

:: _No?_ ::  Starscream gave a little moan.  Like he might be doing what Rodimus had just stopped.  :: _So you're saying... If I just so happened to have another picture... I should keep it to myself?_ ::  Rodimus both hated and loved how breathy his voice was.

:: _Y-yeah._ ::  Frag, Rodimus wasn't even convincing himself.

:: _Whoops_.::

A moment after he said that, Rodimus received another message.  He wasn't going to open it.  Not with Starscream on the line.  Not while Starscream was clearly getting off to this.  But that was his common sense talking, which was being shouted over by his processor.  And his processor was currently in his pulsing spike.

He opened it.

Starscream was in the same position as the second picture, only his face was partly turned away, obscuring half of his drooling mouth and one of his optics.  The one he could see was rolling back into his helm.  At least he wasn't smirking this time.

His free hand was clawing up a fistful of the sheet.  But it was his other hand that really caught his attention.  In it was the base of a false spike.  A false spike that was thrust deep into his valve, stretching him.  There was a mess of lubricants on the berth below his aft, and more coating most of the fingers on his free hand.

:: _You either like what you see or you're a masochist_ ,:: Starscream teased him.

:: _Maybe it's a bit of both_ ,:: Rodimus said in spite of himself. 

:: _That's promising_ ,:: Starscream whispered in his audial.  :: _Because I'm rather sadistic_.::

:: _Tell me something I don't know._ ::  Rodimus shook his helm firmly.  Why was he playing along with this?  :: _And that doesn't mean I want to frag you!_ ::

His spike throbbed when Starscream chuckled darkly.

:: _Of course not.  And I bet you're not even getting off to these pictures_.::

:: _I'm not!_ ::

:: _You know, I could send you a little video if you want_.::  There was a muffled moan on Starscream's end.  Like he was biting a pillow. 

:: _I don't want your pictures-- much less a video!_ ::

:: _Oh, give it a rest, Rodimus, and let's have a little fun.  It's so dull here on Cybertron_.::  Starscream gave a little sigh, then moaned, this time without trying to muffle it, as he undoubtedly used that false spike on himself.

:: _So what if I did look at them?_ :: Rodimus said, trying to sound nonchalant.  A feat that was difficult with his fully pressurized spike throbbing in his hand.  :: _I could find better smut with a web search.  I don't need you._ ::

:: _And yet here you are, continuing to have a comm frag_.::

Rodimus just growled and thrust harder.  If he rushed his overload this could all be over and he could deny the whole thing.  Not that he thought Starscream was going to blab about this.  It wouldn't exactly be good for his image...

:: _I bet you wish this was your spike,_ :: Starscream purred.

:: _... Maybe._ ::

Starscream chuckled darkly.  :: _Oh please, Rodimus, I think we're far past_ maybe.::  Some wet sounds could be heard over the line.  At least until Starscream's vocalizations overshadowed it.

:: _Fine_ ,:: Rodimus agreed. 

:: _That's a good mech_.:: 

If Rodimus ever had the chance to actually frag him he was going to frag him so hard that his face wouldn't even remember how to smirk.  He did enjoy the praise, though.

:: _So, we know where_ my _hands are,_ :: Starscream purred, :: _but what is Rodimus Prime doing to himself?_ ::

There he went, calling him "Prime" again.  Rodimus was just barely audible above his pants.  :: _I'm using my spike_.::

Starscream gave a very breathy laugh.  :: _That's what I wanted to hear_.::

:: _You want to take my spike, don't you?_ ::  Rodimus slowly stroked his spike, focusing more on the pressure than the speed.  He did his best to emulate a valve slowly taking his length in.  Like Starscream was there, pushing his aft back towards him.  :: _Did you even want those pictures to get to Megatron_?::

:: _I did hope your curiosity would get the better of you,_ :: Starscream admitted, :: _but I would have been happy either way_.::

As Rodimus lay down on the berth, he heard Starscream shift, too.  Then he heard his moans get a bit louder, until they were muffled by something. 

:: _What are you doing to yourself right now?  Tell me.  Don't send me a picture._ ::  When Starscream was keeping his voice low, trying not to be heard, it was sexy.  Rodimus wanted to hear it more.

:: _You're a naughty bot, aren't you?_ ::

Rodimus slowed his hand.  He'd come too quickly otherwise, and he wanted to draw out his overload.  He wanted to make it at least until Starscream came.  He wanted to know what he sounded like.  To hear him scream his name.

:: _I'm on all fours, just slowly fragging myself with the false spike,_ :: Starscream purred.  :: _There's lubricant dripping down my hand._ ::

Turning over, Rodimus got to his knees, his hand still on his spike.  He let himself fall onto one hand, thrusting into his other hand at an achingly slow pace.  Imagining that it was Starscream's hot, dripping valve.  His hand would never feel as good, but if he closed his optics he could almost imagine Starscream was right there.  Especially when he kept ventilating heavily into the receiver.  And moaning.

:: _I'm picking up the pace a bit,_ :: Starscream informed him.  :: _But just a little.  My wings are swept down so you can see my face._ ::

Rodimus moved a little faster.  This honestly felt even more teasing.  He wanted to pump his spike to overload with Starscream's moans in his audial.

:: _What would you be doing if I was there?_ :: Starscream's asked breathily.

Primus, Rodimus had never missed Cybertron more.  This single conversation was almost making him regret going on this quest at all.

:: _I am there_ ,:: Rodimus said.  :: _My spike's inside of you.  Can't you feel me pull out slowly?_ ::  He pulled his hips back until the tip of his spike was just touching his hand.  He waited until he heard Starscream take a shaky ventilation, then he continued.  :: _And then back in, even more slowly_.  _Until I'm completely inside of you.  Just filling you up._ ::  The ache in his spike was worth the sound of Starscream's shuddering moan once the false spike was fully seated in his valve.

:: _That feels good, huh?_ :: Rodimus asked.  He couldn't help but smirk like Starscream.  It was contagious.

:: _Give it to me harder,_ :: Starscream demanded.

:: _Is that an order?_ :: Rodimus teased, even though he wanted to do nothing more.

:: _Now_.::  From Starscream's heavy vents, he was already fragging himself hard.

Rodimus thrust harder, then when that wasn't enough, pumped his hand quickly.  :: _Are you close?_ :: he asked, trying not to pant too much into the receiver and failing.

:: _Sounds like you are_ ,:: Starscream taunted him, but his words were laboured.

:: _I can last longer than you_.::

:: _If anyone's lasting longer it's_ me,:: Starscream growled.  :: _Because I know grounders come hard and fast_.::

:: _Funny, I heard the same thing about fliers_.::  Rodimus stopped for a moment when he felt his overload almost overtake him.  He hated edging but he'd do it if it meant winning against Starscream.

:: _Seekers take a special touch to--nh!_ ::

:: _Finished already?_ :: Rodimus taunted him, then bit into the sheets when he almost came himself.

:: _No.  And it's only because I'm doing the job!  Your clumsy hands would never be able to make me feel this good_.::

:: _Just you wait, Starscream, when I'm back on Cybertron, I'll--_ ::

Rodimus couldn't remember the last time he'd overloaded this hard.  His transfluid shot out of him so fast it managed to hit him in the face.  Not to mention make a mess of the berth below him.  It was fine _now_ , but he'd hate himself when he went to berth that night.  Especially knowing that the last thing he saw before he'd made the mess was Starscream's stupid smirking face.

Fortunately, though, there was no gloating on Starscream's end.  Just the laboured ventilations of someone who'd also just overloaded.

:: _Not bad_ ,:: Starscream broke the silence.

:: _Yeah.  You too._ ::

:: _Heh._ ::

Though they just lay there in silence, neither one of them wanted to hang up just yet.  Rodimus was taking comfort in hearing someone else's ventilations.  Like maybe this wasn't just him self-servicing alone in his room.

He stifled a growl when his HUD pinged with another message.  He had hoped to spend at least a few minutes in his post-overload bliss before Megatron or Magnus started lecturing him about neglecting his work, but he couldn't ignore that incessant blinking light.  So he was quite happy to find that it was from Starscream, his heavy ventilations still loud in his audial.

There was nothing in the message but an attachment.  This one didn't even have a subject line.  He wasted no time in opening it, finding Starscream's face much closer this time.  It could almost be passed off as a clean picture.  But his face was flushed a deep red, his optics half-shuttered and glazed.  In the top left corner, you could just see the tips of his fingers, coated in a silvery fluid.  He wished more than ever that he was there then, to fully admire his handiwork.  Maybe even cuddle the fragger a bit.  If he could stay silent for that long.

:: _So..._ ::  Starscream took a few deep ventilations.  :: _Same time next week?_ ::


End file.
